Wednesday 25 September 2013

Tired drawings...

Finally, working through these old images and moving closer to more recent ones. I've been doing some quick lifedrawing sketches these days and I want to upload them soon, but first gotta get these up. Just for nostalgia! I know, I'm weird. Things have to be done in order....
Vicar's seem to get drawn a lot. Not sure why.. In fact, this page in't fantastic. Neither is the next one really.. 
Pirates. Why not? And a ninja? Meh. I may have been tired making this page....

Tuesday 24 September 2013

I am back and surprisingly blue!

I got a fancy new blog! Very exciting stuff indeed, it's all pretty and blue! I realise it has been a long, long time since I have uploaded on here, and I am going to try and get back into the swing of things once again. First, I need to finish what I started and upload all the really old sketches I was uploading, so I'm gonna do them in big chunks now.
A strange vicar and what appears to be a robot Lincoln. And a cow. And Ghandi. A biker, maybe? And a punk man with a little girl. Of course, this all makes perfect sense, but you cannot understand it because my brain is just so complex. Mere mortals stand no chance at comprehending my... oh who am I kidding, it's nonsense!

I think I was watching TV at this point and drawing random people I saw. For some reason, this includes the polar bear from the Birdseye ads and those annoying aliens from Argos. Why do they even have aliens as their sponsored creatures in the first place? A polar bear for frozen foods makes sense, but aliens for a catalogue based retail merchant? What?

More television doodles, I think. Well, some of them. I think that is definitely an attempt at Barney from How I Met Your Mother down the bottom there, and I think the woman next to him may have been drawn from some random television reality show? Oh, and those two bald guys in the middle are drawn from the same biker dude who was possible in jail at the time?


Sunday 14 July 2013

My exciting story at the bank...

OMG I CANNOT believe what happened today. Okay, so I was in the bank, minding my own business, going about my faily tasks, when a bunch of criminals burst in. No joke! They had masks and machine guns and they were threatening to blow our brains out! It was terrifying! I swear, it was the scariest thing ever! I really thought I would die! They said if anyone tries any heroics, they'll kill us all. But then I started thinking: Why is that bad? I don't care about everyone else, screw them! I want to live! So, as one criminal walked past me with his big bag of money, I snatched the gun from his pocket and waved it around in a threatening manner to assure my safe escape. Didn't seem like it would work thought, because they all took aim on me. So I grabbed some random woman and ran as fast as I could, dragging her with me. I have no idea who she is, but hell, if I were gonna die I was gonna die with a total stranger! Lucky for me, the criminals were all terrible shots and I was able to get out of the bank. To my dismay, upon my safe departure, I faced a group of heavily armed policemen who all started shooting at me! As if I were the criminal? I panicked, I didn't know what to do, so I just continued running, dragging this poor woman with me. Managed to give the cops the slip and took a moment to catch my breath behind a car. The woman took this moment to call me an idiot and ask why the hell I dragged her into this, as she is sought after by the police now and already has a whole bunch of parking tickets that she doesn't want them to discover. She then told me, seeing as I brought her this far, that I better not abandon her because she has abandonment issues stretching back from when she was a child and her father left her. I promised I wouldn't leave her and explained how we were in this together, then informed her that I was gonna get us a ride. I knew we needed to escape before the police caught up with us and stealing an expensive looking sports car seemed the most logical way to do this. So I crept up to a fancy looking car and stole it in broad daylight, right in front of the owners. I was feeling pretty badass by this point, and figured.... ah screw that bitch, I'm not gonna take her with me after all. I went through the effort of undergoing a three point turn just so I could actually drive past her, taunting her with how I am not letting her into the car even though I totally could. I was on top of the world! Unfortunately, it all went downhill from there. Suddenly, I was being chased through a desert by at least six police cars. And a buttload of helicopters. Helicopters! I haven't even done anything! I'm innocent, with the exception of some grand theft auto and potentially kidnapping. Well, I have come this far! I started busting out all these moves with my car, causing the police to crash into each other with massive explosions! Many people died, but I don't care about them. Screw them! I will kill them all! Also, I had been shot at this point and my shoulder hurt, so I was quite grumpy. Finally, with the police lost or possibly dead, I arrived at a bridge and managed to get out of the car just before it exploded. I probably should've dropped to the floor or something with a massive explosion just metres away from me, but I was feeling badass by this point after all the stealing and murder and figured I probably looked cool with the explosion as a backdrop. In fact, by this point I decided to remove my shirt and walk around in my dirty vest. Oh, I have tattoos by the way. Did I mention that? Yeah, that makes me look badass too! Grand theft auto, kidnapping, abandoning random women after getting them into a load of shit and a whole bunch of police murders. Badass!So yeah, basically I'm at a pay phone and I'm trying to call home. Think I lost my mobile. Also, someone should go to the bank. I think the criminals have probably escaped by now, seeing as all the police force were chasing me for no reason. Tiring day.On an unrelated note, this video makes no sense!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRaWnd3LJfs

Saturday 6 July 2013

I'm back with this completely unrelated post!

Haven't posted on here for far too long. Am I posting about my sketchbook? No. I am posting about a dream I had. Sorry, will get back to the cartoons soon...

But this was an epic dream.

Time travel is always a difficult thing to make a story around. Paradoxes are practically impossible to avoid when making time travel fiction. Recently I watched Looper and found myself constantly scratching my head at the impossibility of their interpretations of causality, forcing me to constantly tell myself “Just ignore it and keep watching, maybe it will sort itself out”.
Last night, I had a time travelling dream. I was basically Doctor Who with Rory and Amy, and we’ll ignore all the unnecessary parts of the dream about eating red sand and having to eat blue sand to avoid turning into a mummy. So, we discover this big pyramid that has been converted into a usable business. Except, no one has ever been able to run a business in it because the owner is crazy and keeps kicking all the potential entrepreneurs out.  Also, it has loads of weeping angels in it. So we ignore it and continue about the dream. Some time passes and, later in the dream, we return to the pyramid and find that it has changed; it has been converted into a care home for the elderly. As we are looking around, we lose sight of Rory and find an elderly gentlemen in the corner. It doesn’t take us long to figure out that Rory has been touched by an angel and sent back in time to live his life to old age. When we talk to him to ask what happened, he says he cannot remember. All he remembers is that some man picked him up from his home yesterday and brought him here, and he told him that he was exactly 62 years old. This doesn’t add up with our theory of the angels, but its too late to save him now. He has already been snatched by them and sent back in time, and we cannot interfere. Or can we? We work out that we just need to find out the exact point in time he was sent to and go back and get him, then send him somewhere else where Rory and Amy can live peacefully. Then, when he is 62, The Doctor can go back and get him, wipe his memory and bring him here to the present to be discovered by the present day us. That’s why he was told of his age. So we go about doing that. We find him in the past at the exact point he was sent to, still in the same location. The pyramid in the past is run down and filled with cobwebs, but the inside of it looks like some giant mansion. There is even a stairway. I, as the Doctor, decide to slide down the banister of the stairs until a security guard passing by tells me off. “Do you own those stairs?” he asks me. “No?” “Well, you can’t go sliding down them unless you have lots of money to pay for them first!” “I have lots of money. Stay right there…” I run back into the Tardis and return with thousands of pounds and pay the man so I can slide down the stairs. One thing leads to another and next thing I know, I am buying the entire pyramid. People keep approaching me and asking to transform the newly renovated pyramid into a business, but I turn them all down because I know it’s meant to be a care home eventually! I have become the crazy owner! So I’m hanging around with Rory and Amy in the past, then at one point we visit a children’s park. Amy and I turn our back for one second and when we next look, Rory has turned into a mummy and collapses into dust on the floor. This changes everything and a paradox will occur now! Except, well, we never actually saw him turn into the mummy, we weren’t looking. So, we could technically travel back in time to the moment it happened, snatch Rory away whilst our backs are turned and put a decaying mummy in his place, then retreat, leaving the Amy and Doctor of that time to think that Rory has turned into a mummy. Don’t quite know the point of that, but it’s what happened. So Amy and Rory lived peacefully in the past until the carehome was built, whereby at the age of 62, I went and took Rory from his house and put him in the home, wiping his memory of events and telling him his age is 62, so he could be discovered by the past/present me and begin this whole crazy adventure.

My head actually hurts waking up…

Friday 5 April 2013

Friday 29 March 2013

Chickens and Hillbillies and Crocs in heaven! Oh My!



My goodness! It has been a long time since I kept this updated! Why have I been so rubbish and keeping on top of this? More sketches! More chicken men! More strange heads! More... hillbillies? I'm not entirely sure!

Easter soon, and I've only had a couple of small easter eggs. It's March, and it's FREEZING! WHY IS IT SNOWING? Seriously, snow in March? Has the world gone mad? It's so cold!

Been working on some projects, namely a clip for the www.11secondclub.com March entry. My February entry barely made it past the blocking stage, because I ran outta time. Spent too much of Feb making Valentines gifts. To make up for the fact that I have spent most of March animating. Will post final video for March soon, but in the meantime, why not enjoy my lesser made Feb entry?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFNaoEq_42s&list=UUX7MX8G_EMMS5Sw2NbtYkJQ&index=22

Tuesday 12 February 2013

PANCAKE DAY!!

OKAY I admit it. This post has nothing to do with pancake day. That was just a shameless way of getting people to find my blog on pancake day.

Wait, I'm sure I can find some link of relevance here...

Pancakes! Pancakes are made in a pan. Pan rhymes with Gran. A gran is an elderly woman, normally the mother of your mother or father. Elderly people sometimes dye their hair blue for no reason. Blue. All the drawings on this page are blue. BLUE!

Sunday 10 February 2013

Mow the lawn...


Not much special happening on this page. Man with a body too small and a haircut too big. Some large nosed people. Confused old man. Lawnmower guy. Naked woman. A giant invisible ninja elephant with kung fu action. You can't see that one, though....

I kinda like the lawnmower dude...

Saturday 26 January 2013

What's with the strange potato man?


The woman in the top left was a failed superhero attempt. I think she may have been fork-girl, or something like that. I sketched her wrong and she looked dumb. Don't look in that direction. Seriously. Pack it in.

Who the hell is the strange potato man? No idea.

Friday 25 January 2013

Cupcake Monster


Shortly after drawing the tea monster, I went to a cake shop. So the cupcake monster was born.
Collection of odd people, and a Tyrannosaurus Dex.

Did you know? There were no dinosaur geeks in prehistoric times. Any dinosaur seen to have an interest in things considered geeky were immediately killed and eaten. Dinosaur geek was a rare but fine delicacy.

Thursday 24 January 2013

Algebra with chairs


It's a question we have all thought about. How come a seat with legs is called a chair? Great mystery, I know....
Also, I was sitting in a tea shop when I drew the tea drinking monster. He purtty...

Did you know? A new species of peaceful animals were discovered in Eastern parts of the United Kingdom? They resemble cushions and were unfortunately wiped out to extinction by very tired and surprisingly heavy scientists.

Wednesday 23 January 2013

I made a story for all of them! Yay!


Again, I have no idea what is going on on this page. I guess... well, the first woman is very disappointed that the big boobed lady has crashed her party. Square-jaw is there to protect her, especially from the horrible big nose bow tie man, who is also an inventor and discovered eggs.
Below him are two women, who are food critics and like to play croquet in the park on Sundays. Also shown here are....uh... Billy and his cat, Beans. Yeah, that's their names.
And the potato manager as well. He manages potatoes.

Saturday 12 January 2013

What is going on here?


Head. Head. Head. Squirrel. Business shark. Elephant on a bicycle. Frog with top hat.
This page isn't very normal.

Sunday 6 January 2013

More Headless Nudity


I keep running out of time to focus on the head. Or, maybe it's intentional??? oooooh..... artistic.....

Saturday 5 January 2013

2013!!!


Happy 2013! Okay, so I haven't uploaded over the christmas period. Can you blame me? Between Christmas at mine, my parents and my partners parents, plus about four to five roast dinners, the past few weeks were a combination of business, happy food-filling times and lots of presents. So, not a lot of time to update my blog. Going back to where I left off, naked women! From the 9th November, 2011. Wow. Long time ago. Shocking....