OMG I CANNOT believe what happened today. Okay, so I was in the bank, minding my own business, going about my faily tasks, when a bunch of criminals burst in. No joke! They had masks and machine guns and they were threatening to blow our brains out! It was terrifying! I swear, it was the scariest thing ever! I really thought I would die! They said if anyone tries any heroics, they'll kill us all. But then I started thinking: Why is that bad? I don't care about everyone else, screw them! I want to live! So, as one criminal walked past me with his big bag of money, I snatched the gun from his pocket and waved it around in a threatening manner to assure my safe escape. Didn't seem like it would work thought, because they all took aim on me. So I grabbed some random woman and ran as fast as I could, dragging her with me. I have no idea who she is, but hell, if I were gonna die I was gonna die with a total stranger! Lucky for me, the criminals were all terrible shots and I was able to get out of the bank. To my dismay, upon my safe departure, I faced a group of heavily armed policemen who all started shooting at me! As if I were the criminal? I panicked, I didn't know what to do, so I just continued running, dragging this poor woman with me. Managed to give the cops the slip and took a moment to catch my breath behind a car. The woman took this moment to call me an idiot and ask why the hell I dragged her into this, as she is sought after by the police now and already has a whole bunch of parking tickets that she doesn't want them to discover. She then told me, seeing as I brought her this far, that I better not abandon her because she has abandonment issues stretching back from when she was a child and her father left her. I promised I wouldn't leave her and explained how we were in this together, then informed her that I was gonna get us a ride. I knew we needed to escape before the police caught up with us and stealing an expensive looking sports car seemed the most logical way to do this. So I crept up to a fancy looking car and stole it in broad daylight, right in front of the owners. I was feeling pretty badass by this point, and figured.... ah screw that bitch, I'm not gonna take her with me after all. I went through the effort of undergoing a three point turn just so I could actually drive past her, taunting her with how I am not letting her into the car even though I totally could. I was on top of the world! Unfortunately, it all went downhill from there. Suddenly, I was being chased through a desert by at least six police cars. And a buttload of helicopters. Helicopters! I haven't even done anything! I'm innocent, with the exception of some grand theft auto and potentially kidnapping. Well, I have come this far! I started busting out all these moves with my car, causing the police to crash into each other with massive explosions! Many people died, but I don't care about them. Screw them! I will kill them all! Also, I had been shot at this point and my shoulder hurt, so I was quite grumpy. Finally, with the police lost or possibly dead, I arrived at a bridge and managed to get out of the car just before it exploded. I probably should've dropped to the floor or something with a massive explosion just metres away from me, but I was feeling badass by this point after all the stealing and murder and figured I probably looked cool with the explosion as a backdrop. In fact, by this point I decided to remove my shirt and walk around in my dirty vest. Oh, I have tattoos by the way. Did I mention that? Yeah, that makes me look badass too! Grand theft auto, kidnapping, abandoning random women after getting them into a load of shit and a whole bunch of police murders. Badass!So yeah, basically I'm at a pay phone and I'm trying to call home. Think I lost my mobile. Also, someone should go to the bank. I think the criminals have probably escaped by now, seeing as all the police force were chasing me for no reason. Tiring day.On an unrelated note, this video makes no sense!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRaWnd3LJfs
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